Being Bipolar

I've shared a lot with y'all over the years, but there is one thing that I've always held back. It's not so much that I was hiding it. It's just that it can still be really, really hard to talk about, even after all of these years.

Because the thing is, mental illness still comes with a stigma. Sure, things are better than they used to be. There are much better treatment options available, and people in general are starting to be more understanding and less judgmental. But we still have a long way to go.

When I was in my early twenties, I was (mis)diagnosed with depression. I had already been suffering from chronic pain for many years, which, understandably, is depressing. But there was more to it than that. And even though I had suspected for years that I might be bipolar, I was too afraid to speak up. Because I was afraid that I might be right. And I was afraid of what it would mean.

After remaining untreated for much longer than I should have, I finally reached a breaking point. And it was during a week-long stay in the mental health wing of the hospital that I was finally diagnosed and began receiving the treatment that I so desperately needed.

Okay, I have to pause here for some incredibly painful honesty. Even though I've come to terms with my illness, and I know, logically, that it's nothing to be ashamed of... it is still terrifying to talk about it so openly. To tell someone that you were hospitalized for mental illness means holding your breath and waiting for the judgment. And the look of "oh, I didn't know you were that crazy."

So even though it's scary, I still have to talk about it. Because the more of us that do - the more that we can be open and honest about it - the less painful and scary it will be.

I don't want people to be scared of talking about this. I don't want people to be ashamed, or feel like it's better to suffer in silence than to get help. We should never, ever have to go through this alone.



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A big thank you to ABC Wednesday for inspiring me to share this story. To find more beautiful "B" posts, be sure to visit the their page.

M is for Mental Health

Have I ever mentioned how much I love it when things fit together? This week's ABC Wednesday brings us to the letter M. And it just so happens that today is also World Mental Health Day. So today is a perfect day to talk about mental health.

World Mental Health Day, as explained by the World Health Organization, "raises public awareness about mental health issues" and "promotes open discussion of mental disorders, and investments in prevention, promotion and treatment services."

While I do think that public awareness of mental health issues has increased over the years, and open discussion of mental disorders does happen more than it used to... there is still a stigma attached to mental illness, and it does sometimes make it difficult to talk about. It may not be as bad as it once was, but it's still there.

I have seen firsthand what happens when mental illness goes undiagnosed and untreated. All it does is cause more unnecessary suffering for people who are already living in enough pain. And it doesn't need to happen. We need to be able to talk openly about mental health issues without fear, and without shame. And we absolutely need to be comfortable seeking help when we need it.

I want to offer you a few mental health resources that I have found. If you or someone you love suffers from mental illness, I encourage you to explore some of the great information services and organizations that are out there. And if you have any concerns about your mental health (even if you've never been diagnosed), please, please talk to your doctor. Help is out there - you just have to take that first step.


Mental Health Resources:

• Phych Central's Mental Health & Psychology Resources Online 
• MedlinePlus Mental Health page 
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Mental Health page 
• Mental Health America 
• National Alliance on Mental Illness