Movie Review: The Fault in Our Stars

I don't typically do a lot of movie reviews here, but since I reviewed the book by John Green earlier this year, I thought I would follow up with a review of the adaptation.

I'll skip the plot synopsis here, because it very closely follows the story laid out in the book (which you can read about in the above link.) I know that people have differing opinions about how closely a movie should stick to the source material. Should it make you feel like you're re-reading the book, or should it only share the title, and completely - and sometimes regrettably - rewrite the entire plot? (I'm looking at you, World War Z.)

I don't think that either option is necessarily correct or incorrect; it all depends on the individual project. In this case, I thought it was very well done. There is enough of the original book kept in tact that John Green fans can relive his beautiful writing, and there is also enough creative variation to make the movie stand on its own.

The passion involved in making this movie - from the writer and director through the entire cast - is obvious, and makes a tragic story that much more beautiful to watch. Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort are brilliant, and their on-screen chemistry made me fall in love with both of them. They are sweet, and smart, and witty, and completely bring to life everything that we all love about John Green characters.

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a feel-good movie. There are some charmingly funny moments, but there are also some very brutal moments. Even though I knew what was coming, and thought I was prepared for it, I still sobbed like a baby. But at least I wasn't alone in that, because the entire audience was doing the same thing.

As far as adaptations go, I give this one a thumbs up, and recommend it just as much as I recommended the book. When you're in the mood for a beautiful story of love and loss, this is the one for you.



*****

Want to see what other people have to say about the letter F this week? Be sure to visit ABC Wednesday.

Party Like The Doctor

As I'm sure many of you will recall, last November marked the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. And when my kids found out that it was coming up, they asked if we could have a Doctor Who Party. Being a fan of the random reasons to celebrate (remember the 12/12/12 Party?) of course my answer was "Sure. Why not?"

The party was small, and kind of thrown together without a lot of time to plan ahead, but it was still a huge hit. And it led to the conclusion that we must have another one some time. In fact, we eventually decided that we should mark each series premier and finale with a party. Because... why not?

So in preparation for the Series 8 premier on August 23rd, I thought I would help us start getting ready to celebrate its return. 

I haven't really started the preparations for this party yet (that's coming soon) but I figured I'd share some of the things that we did last year, in case any of you would like ideas for your own Doctor Who Party.

Of course my daughter and I had to do our now famous Dalek nails.

And I made some Sonic Screwdrivers.

But the food was the most fun part.

The wormhole pizza was okay.

And the DW pizza was okay.

I was a little disappointed with the TARDIS pizza. (I'll have to experiment with that one a little more before next time.)

But the Dalek pizza was definitely the best.

We had some fruits and veggies.

And of course lots of other fun treats.

If you get all of those references, then you can live your life happily, knowing how awesome you are. If there are some that you didn't get... you should really watch more Doctor Who. :)

The next party will include even more fun and games (I'm thinking "pin the face on Cassandra" will have to be a thing.) So come back after the 23rd and I'll tell you all about it. I'd tell you more now, but, you know...

*****

If you'd like to see what other great things that people are doing with the letter D this week, be sure to hop on over to ABC Wednesday.

Celebrity Grammar Snobbery

If you've been on Facebook at all over the last couple of weeks, there's a good chance that you've seen people posting the video of Weird Al's "Word Crimes." If you haven't watched it yet, you really should.

I've always loved Weird Al, but I respect him even more now. (Being an admitted grammar snob myself, I suppose that's no surprise.) He says several things in the song that I've said for years. But maybe now that a celebrity has said it, people will start to listen. ;)

The best thing about this song is that within just a couple of days after it was released four of my friends had sent me the link to it, and suggested that I would appreciate it and/or that I should adopt it as my new theme song. I love how well my friends know me.

And if you happen to be a fellow grammar snob (or appreciate funny grammar snobbery) then after you watch Weird Al's video you should also go check out The Oatmeal. All of his stuff is fantastic, but I particularly love his grammar related comics, like "What it means when you say literally" and "How to use a semicolon." Great stuff.


*****

I hope this has given you a few laughs, and helped brighten your day a little. To see what other people have to say about the letter C this week, please visit the ABC Wednesday page.

Being Bipolar

I've shared a lot with y'all over the years, but there is one thing that I've always held back. It's not so much that I was hiding it. It's just that it can still be really, really hard to talk about, even after all of these years.

Because the thing is, mental illness still comes with a stigma. Sure, things are better than they used to be. There are much better treatment options available, and people in general are starting to be more understanding and less judgmental. But we still have a long way to go.

When I was in my early twenties, I was (mis)diagnosed with depression. I had already been suffering from chronic pain for many years, which, understandably, is depressing. But there was more to it than that. And even though I had suspected for years that I might be bipolar, I was too afraid to speak up. Because I was afraid that I might be right. And I was afraid of what it would mean.

After remaining untreated for much longer than I should have, I finally reached a breaking point. And it was during a week-long stay in the mental health wing of the hospital that I was finally diagnosed and began receiving the treatment that I so desperately needed.

Okay, I have to pause here for some incredibly painful honesty. Even though I've come to terms with my illness, and I know, logically, that it's nothing to be ashamed of... it is still terrifying to talk about it so openly. To tell someone that you were hospitalized for mental illness means holding your breath and waiting for the judgment. And the look of "oh, I didn't know you were that crazy."

So even though it's scary, I still have to talk about it. Because the more of us that do - the more that we can be open and honest about it - the less painful and scary it will be.

I don't want people to be scared of talking about this. I don't want people to be ashamed, or feel like it's better to suffer in silence than to get help. We should never, ever have to go through this alone.



*****

A big thank you to ABC Wednesday for inspiring me to share this story. To find more beautiful "B" posts, be sure to visit the their page.

A New Beginning. Again.

If you've followed this blog at all over the years, you know that I've had my fair share of stops and starts. There are always several factors involved each time, but the end result is that I just stop writing for a while. And then eventually I start again. And stop again. And... you get the idea.

That's just the way things go sometimes, and I've learned to accept it. And each time it happens I do my best to make it a learning experience, and be happy with the opportunity for personal growth. Because as frustrating as it might get sometimes, there will always a bright side. You know that.

So I take the time that I need, and I work through it, and then I start again. Because that's what you do when life gets you down.

And so that's what I decided to do. Again.

As I sat down last week and started thinking about writing again, it occurred to me that it had been a while since I had checked in with ABC Wednesday, and I wondered where they were in the current round. Of course (because that's just always the way things seem to work out) it turned out that the new round was about to start. Perfect! So I decided to take it as a sign that I was meant to participate. :)

I don't know if I'll finish the round this time, any more than I know if I'll stick with any of my current plans. But there's a reason that the "get back on the horse" cliche exists. You have to do it. Usually several times. So here I stand, back on the horse, trying to be brave.

On a related note, if you find yourself curious about why this happens from time to time (or just want to know something a little more personal about me) be sure to come back next Wednesday. We'll find out together if I'm really as brave as I think I might be.


*****

Want to read some other awesome "A" posts from this round? Be sure to check out ABC Wednesday.

A Very Taylor Swift Christmas

Despite what some of my Facebook friends might think, I actually don't hate Taylor Swift. I'm not really her target audience, but I do think she has a decent voice, and she's kind of cute. But I do wish (if ever a wish there was) that she could find some other inspiration for a song besides failed relationships. And I know that I'm not alone in this.

Yeah, you could say I'm not the only one who has noticed it. And I'm sure that to the girls in her demographic the subject is a lot more meaningful than it is to me. And hey - it's working for her. So I suppose we could go the "you go girl" route.

But I have to say that I got a pretty good laugh the other day when I heard her version of "Last Christmas" on the radio. Now, I go back and forth on that song to begin with. On one hand, it's kind of irritating. On the other hand, I like George Michael, so sometimes I listen to it anyway.

So I heard a little bit of it as I was debating about whether or not to change the station.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart.

The very next day, you gave it away.

Yep. So far this sounds like an appropriate song for her to be singing.

This year, to save me from tears,

I'll give it to someone special.

Nope, sorry. That's where you lost me. But I suppose that "I'll give it to the next guy I'm going to write a song about" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

*     *     *

Do you find yourself very motivated to read other "V" posts? Feel free to visit ABC Wednesday. :)

'Tis the Season for Texas Pride

As I tossed around ideas for today's ABC Wednesday post, I quickly realized that in my world one "T" stands above all others: my home state of Texas. (Sure, I may not have lived there for nearly 25 years now, but it will always be home.) And I hadn't really thought about it that much before today, but I realized as I glanced around the house just how much the Texas pride shines through this time of year.

A few things around the house...

And a few things on the tree...

And the funniest part is, I didn't buy a single one of these things for myself. Apparently, when it comes to Christmas gifts I'm pretty easy to shop for.

Go figure. ;)

Sibling Drama (but not the kind that you might expect)

I realize that my blogging has been a bit sporadic lately. But if you know me, or if you follow this blog, then you know that's just kind of how life is around here, and we roll with it as best we can. But today I have a "sibling story" that I have to share with you, and it just so happens that today's ABC Wednesday brings us to the letter S, so it works out perfectly.

At my son's Cub Scout meeting last night they were talking about the Christmas parade that the boys will be participating in next month. I hadn't really thought about it that much before then, but apparently my daughter had been assuming this whole time that she would be in the parade too.

When Cub Scouts started earlier this year we had explained to her that sometimes she would be able to do the activities with her brother, but that sometimes things would be just for the boys. She said she understood that, but it hadn't ever been put to the test until now.

She's been to all of the meetings, gone on all of the field trips, washed cars, and sold popcorn right along with the rest of the boys. Because she likes being included, and because there was never a reason that she couldn't be.

But now, only the boys will be riding on the parade float. (I brought up the question, wanting to know if they would have to be accompanied by a parent.) I was happy to hear that they wouldn't, because that means that I can relax and enjoy the parade. But my daughter was devastated.

I didn't realize it at first, until I noticed the little sniffles and then saw the silent tears. When I asked her what was wrong, that was when the outright sobs came out in a rush. Finally she managed to squeak out "I want to be with my brother!"

As I tried to calm her down, of course my son was also right there trying to comfort her. As excited as he is to be in his first parade, he insisted for her benefit that he knows watching the parade will be SO much more exciting than just riding in a float. But she was heartbroken, and all she could manage was "But I want to be with yoooouuuuuu!"

We tried for most of the ride home to try to find an approach that would cheer her up, but eventually we just had to let her cry it out. And as sad as it was, a part of me still had to appreciate how sweet it was too. There are very few things in life that this little girl loves more than her big brother, and not much makes her happier than being with him.

Fortunately the feelings are reciprocated, and the two of them spend a great deal of their time playing very happily together. I love the rewards of being able to watch the love and affection that they share. As a mom, I really couldn't ask for more.

P is for Princess (and that's ok)

Happy Halloween, and Happy ABC Wednesday! I hope you've all had a positively perfect day, packed with plenty of pleasant experiences. :)

Like many parents, I took my kids out trick-or-treating this evening. And sure, getting buckets full of candy is always fun, but for them (and for me) the most fun part is getting dressed up in costume.

My son went as an Angry Bird this year (which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone who knows him, since this is his latest obsession) and my daughter went as a princess (which is also no surprise to anyone who knows her.)

This is her fourth Halloween, and her third time dressing up as a princess. She loves wearing the pretty dress, and the crown, and having everyone tell her what a "pretty princess" she is. It's fun for her, and it's adorable. And I'm perfectly fine with it.

I know there are people out there who have a problem with little girls dressing as princesses (or any other kind of gender-specific "female role," for that matter.) And I completely agree that nobody should be forced into a stereotype. But I also believe that if a little girl wants to pretend to be a princess every now and then, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

On last week's Halloween episode of The Office, Pam dressed up as "Dr. Cinderella" because her daughter likes Cinderella, but Pam wanted to set a positive example and remind her that girls can be anything they want to be, not just little princesses.

Sure, it was kind of funny. But this isn't the first time I've seen this type of reaction from a TV mom. On a show a few years ago there was a high-powered-lawyer mom who was all in a tizzy, wondering where she went wrong, because her daughter wanted to dress up as a princess. (How have I not taught her better than that? She doesn't have to fall into these gender stereotypes!) I actually found it kind of irritating.

My daughter knows that she can be anything she wants to be when she grows up. And sure, sometimes she says that she's actually going to be a real princess, but she's four, so that's understandable. She also sometimes says that she's going to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a builder, or a mom. Or maybe even a race car driver. For a while she was even going to be an astronaut doctor.

The point is, she knows she has options, and that she's not limited to some antiquated idea of what a girl is allowed to be. So if, every now and then, she wants to dress up in a frilly pink dress and pretend to be a princess, I don't see anything wrong with that.

What do you think? Should we discourage our daughters from dressing in stereotypical gender roles (or at least encourage them toward something else) or is it okay for a little girl to play princess if that's what she wants? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject!

October Joys

This week's ABC Wednesday brings us to the letter O. And so this seems like a perfect opportunity to celebrate the happiness that is the month of October.

Now, I can't really say that I have a favorite month. Just about every month has something to love about it. (Plus, I'm really too overly analytical to have just one favorite of anything - books, movies, songs, food... I can never narrow it down to just one.) But I do tend to rank things. And October is definitely near the top of my list.

For one thing, October is usually when we finally get a break from the triple-digit temperatures. It still isn't cold here yet (not that it ever really gets cold in central Arizona) but our highs have actually been down in the 80s all week, which has been lovely.

And of course October is when the Halloween decorations come out. I've always loved Halloween, but now that I get to share it with my kids it's even more fun. They love to help decorate, and do holiday crafts and baking. (We actually have some more planned for this weekend, as a matter of fact, so be sure to tune in next week for more Halloween fun.)

October is also the only time that I indulge in silly cartoon cereal. I'm usually not big on the sugary cereals, but this is my one exception. They're a fun, once-a-year tradition. And I'm pretty sure you will find these in my pantry every October for the rest of my life.

And perhaps best of all (or worst, depending on your perspective) October is when we start finding pumpkin-flavored EVERYthing in the stores. I know it's not for everyone, but I for one love it. And I don't even have to be eating it - just the smell of pumpkin and spices makes me happy.

This is the latest pumpkin-flavored thing that I discovered this year. And yes, they're pretty tasty. (If you don't like pumpkin pie, I'd say give them a miss.) Otherwise... Yum!

M is for Mental Health

Have I ever mentioned how much I love it when things fit together? This week's ABC Wednesday brings us to the letter M. And it just so happens that today is also World Mental Health Day. So today is a perfect day to talk about mental health.

World Mental Health Day, as explained by the World Health Organization, "raises public awareness about mental health issues" and "promotes open discussion of mental disorders, and investments in prevention, promotion and treatment services."

While I do think that public awareness of mental health issues has increased over the years, and open discussion of mental disorders does happen more than it used to... there is still a stigma attached to mental illness, and it does sometimes make it difficult to talk about. It may not be as bad as it once was, but it's still there.

I have seen firsthand what happens when mental illness goes undiagnosed and untreated. All it does is cause more unnecessary suffering for people who are already living in enough pain. And it doesn't need to happen. We need to be able to talk openly about mental health issues without fear, and without shame. And we absolutely need to be comfortable seeking help when we need it.

I want to offer you a few mental health resources that I have found. If you or someone you love suffers from mental illness, I encourage you to explore some of the great information services and organizations that are out there. And if you have any concerns about your mental health (even if you've never been diagnosed), please, please talk to your doctor. Help is out there - you just have to take that first step.


Mental Health Resources:

• Phych Central's Mental Health & Psychology Resources Online 
• MedlinePlus Mental Health page 
• Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Mental Health page 
• Mental Health America 
• National Alliance on Mental Illness 

Logic, Five-year-old Style

Today's ABC Wednesday brings us to the letter L. There were several things that came to mind as I started brainstorming... love, laughter, my little ones. All things that are very important in my life. But then this morning I overheard my daughter singing a song, and it reminded me of a story, and the story always makes me smile, so I decided that I needed to share it.

My son's logic and reasoning skills have always been a source of amusement in our family. Not because it's particularly funny, but because it's just kind of unusual to meet someone his age that can be so incredibly analytical and reason his way through just about anything as well as he always has. He comes by it honestly, of course (coming from a long line of strenuous thinkers) but it's still funny to witness.

One day last year we were listening to one of the kids' CDs, and that wonderfully annoying song about the five little monkeys jumping on the bed came on.

The kids were singing along, having a good time. But for me that song has always gotten old really fast - mostly because Mama obviously isn't getting it, and telling her over and over again "no more monkeys jumping on the bed!" isn't doing any good.

So in an apparently less-than-stellar attempt at a joke, I changed the lyrics after the fourth monkey.

Mama called the doctor, and the doctor said

"Why do you keep calling me if you're not going to listen to my advice?!"

I wasn't actually expecting an answer, of course, but I got one. After just a brief pause my son said "Well... maybe she was calling a different doctor each time to see if they had any better advice." And yeah, I had to admit that made a little more sense than a woman that keeps calling to get the same advice and just keeps ignoring it every time.

I also had to admit that it's kind of sad when you try to make a joke only to be shown up by your five-year-old kid. So much for my grand comedic skills. :)

I is for the times "I should be writing."

In the spirit of multitasking, today we'll combine an ABC Wednesday post with an Invisible Illness Week post.

The timing of this one worked out perfectly, because I've been thinking a lot in the past few weeks about how little I've been blogging - just one or two posts a week, typically. And it wasn't because I've been being lazy, and it wasn't because I didn't have anything to say. It was strictly because I've been dealing with a lot of pain lately, and that has made everything very difficult.

One of the great things about blogging (and one of the reason that a lot of people with chronic illnesses do it) is that we can blog pretty much any time, from pretty much anywhere. So it's usually fairly easy to work around our pain, and write during those times when we're feeling (relatively) better. But unfortunately for many of us, those times when we feel "better" sometimes don't come around for a while, and there can be days or weeks or more when we can barely manage getting out of bed, let alone anything else.

But even though there is a legitimate reason for the inactivity, that doesn't make it any easier. Not being able to do the things we want to do is one of the most frustrating things about having a chronic illness. The mind is willing - it wants to get up and go. But the body simply isn't able.

There are a truckload of emotions that go along with this. It is very easy to get angry, or depressed. You can place blame. You can be resentful. You can berate yourself for all of the things that you "should be" doing with your time. (That one comes up a lot for me.) I catch myself starting to feel guilty when the pain is keeping me from something. Several times in recent weeks I would grumble that "I should be writing" as I took pain killers and crawled into bed instead.

Often, it seems, one of the hardest things for those of us with chronic illnesses to embrace is the idea of forgiveness. Even with the 20 years that I've had to work on it, I still have a hard time forgiving myself for not being able to do the things that I want to do, or stopping myself from using the phrase "should be" when describing something that I'd like to be doing.

I'm not going to shrivel up and die if I don't post every day. The blogger police are not going to knock down my door. What I "should be" doing on the bad pain days is taking care of myself and weathering the storm as best I can. Because they will eventually pass, and beating myself up over them doesn't accomplish anything.

I wanted to share this, because I have a feeling that I'm not alone. Whether you're a fellow chronic illness sufferer or not, have you ever noticed that you sometimes get down on yourself for things that you "should be" doing, even when circumstances are out of your control? I think we probably all have those moments when we just need to step back, relax, and give ourselves a little break.

F is for Flurf

Yesterday, as we were waiting to go pick my son up from school, I took a much-needed break and spent some time in the playroom with my daughter. We started a game that she calls "roll the ball," which is basically just what it sounds like, with the one rule that she decides each time how the ball is going to be rolled, bounced, kicked, or what have you, and then everyone else has to do the same thing back to her. It usually gets pretty creative, and is actually a lot of fun.

But as fun as the game is, it is still basically playing catch, and is only as intellectually stimulating as a game of catch can be. As such, my mind began to wonder, and eventually made its way around to today's ABC Wednesday post. I started to brainstorm "words that start with F" and then realized that it could be another fun game if I brought my daughter in on it.

When I told her that I needed to think of a good word that started with the letter F, she jumped right in. First she looked around for inspiration - "There is a flower on that pillow! That's Tinkerbell. She's a fairy! There's a football!" We took turns for a while, just shouting out every word that came to mind. Family. Fingers. Friends. Fun. Fabulous.

Then my adorable daughter looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said "Flurf!" On her face was one of the cutest expressions I've seen in a long time. It was a combination of amusement at her own joke, pride for having made said joke, and curiosity about whether I was going to call her on it. When I smiled at her she finally couldn't contain it any more, and she just fell to the floor laughing hysterically.

She climbed into my lap, and we both shared the laugh. She stopped a few times to say "F is for flurf!" again and then collapse into another fit of giggles. And as we sat there, hugging and laughing, I suddenly realized that sometimes it really is easy to make all of your problems dissolve. Sometimes you can forget about all of the little things that have been taking up space in your mind, and just relax (at least for a little while.) Sometimes, all you really need is a good laugh.


Be sure to check out more Fabulous posts at ABC Wednesday.

E is for Elliptical

In last week's post I talked about one of my favorite words, so for this week's ABC Wednesday I decided to talk about one of my favorite things: my Precor EFX 5.21. Or, in layman's terms, my elliptical machine.

I've struggled with my weight for most of my life. And the times that I wasn't struggling were mostly the times when I just kind of gave up and decided to be okay with being fat. (Not my most brilliant moments, granted. But it was just the way it was sometimes.)

But this past year I've been making great strides (pardon the pun) in my quest to live a healthier life. I'm thrilled to say that I've lost 50 pounds so far - and it feels great! And I've done it all with the simple "eat less, move more" approach.

Simple concept, yes. But that's not to say that it's easy. It's probably the most difficult of all of the great weight loss techniques, because there's no quick fix, no pill to take, and no easy way out. It actually requires a lot of willpower, and a lot of hard work.

And exercise is an even trickier concept when you suffer from chronic pain, as I do. You have to be very careful to find ways to move your body without hurting yourself, and that's often a frustrating challenge. Frustrating, and often tedious and slow, but not impossible.

My elliptical and I were not immediately the best of friends. The first time I got on it, I lasted about five minutes (and thought I was going to die.) It was sad. But I was determined, so I kept at it with the understanding that it would take time. And it did. But the results have been fantastic.

There are still days when my back hurts too much to work out, and there are days when I can work out, but have to do it very slowly and gently to avoid too much pain. But those days are fewer and fewer as time goes on. And now, as I spend 45 minutes to an hour with it at least five days a week, I can see just how far I've come.

I still have a ways to go. But thanks to some healthier eating habits, and many many hours on my elliptical, I'm getting there. :)

D is for "D'oh!"

Today's ABC Wednesday seemed like the perfect opportunity to pay tribute to one of my favorite words in the English language.

I know (because I've heard) some people complain about "made up" words becoming part of our accepted vocabulary, and being legitimized by popular use (and even - gasp - the dictionary!) My response to that complaint was to point out that all words were made up at some point - that's how they became words! The counter-argument of course was "yeah... well... at least they used to have to stand the test of time before they became legitimate words."

Ok, so that I couldn't really argue with. There is no denying that the creation of language has evolved considerably. Modern technology has definitely changed the speed with which new words or phrases gain popularity and become widely accepted (or at least tolerated.) But I think that's probably something we're just going to have to learn to live with - I don't see it changing any time soon.

But even if we were to go with the "standing the test of time" argument, I think we still have to admit that d'oh is now a real word. The Simpsons has been on the air since 1989. That's 23 years worth of d'oh to go around. And around. And around. (Come on. Don't try to tell me that you've never said it.)

But it's not just the word's prevalence in our language, or on the show, that makes it worth noticing. I mean, many of the show's character's have great catch phrases.

Ha, Ha!

Eeeeexcellent!

Thank you. Come again!

And most of us that are Simpsons fans have probably used several of these in conversation at one time or another. (I know I have been in several situations where a Nelson-esque "Ha, ha!" was completely justified.)

But d'oh is my favorite for another reason - not just because it's funny. I love it because it has given us something to say when we really need an expletive but can't (or don't want to) use one.


Because you know there are those times. You stub your toe on the coffee table. A glass slips out of your hand and spills its contents all over your kitchen floor. The dog jumps on you and gets muddy paw prints all over your shirt. There are just times in life that make you feel a need to yell something. But there are also times when yelling what you are actually thinking would be inappropriate. And thanks to Homer Simpson, you now have something non-offensive to yell. :)