Wednesday, April 4, 2012

How do you come back from that?

Yes, dear reader. I come crawling back, head hung in shame, but eyes cast ever so slightly upward as I peer at you humbly and dare to hope that you will forgive my desertion and let me back into your life. (Not that anyone has ever accused me of being overly dramatic or anything.)

To say that "it's been a while" would be a bit of an understatement. But yes, it has been a while. I'll spare you the details, for now, but for several reasons that we may or may not get into later (and some that I'm fairly certain we never will) this poor blog was sadly abandoned. Fortunately, however, it seems now that it was only temporary.

I'm sharing this with you because I have a strong feeling that there are others of you out there who can relate. Maybe it wasn't a blog, but I would bet that there have been things in your life that you have let go of, or drifted away from, or otherwise lost. You may not have done it intentionally, and you may not have even realized that it was happening until it was gone.

It starts simply and predictably enough. At first life just gets in the way for a little while, and you get too busy to fit everything in. Then one day you turn around and realize that two months have passed, and something that you once loved has slipped away. You realize that you didn't mean for that to happen, and desperately want to reconnect, but then the anxiety hits. How do you go back after so much time? You stress about that for a while, and before you know it two months has turned into six.

At some point you may start trying to talk yourself into a comeback. But after so much time has passed, you think that you can't possibly just pick up where you left off without making some sort of event out of it. Perhaps you begin again with the new year? It's a natural time of new beginnings. But then you realize that everybody says they are going to start new things in January and then they always end up forgetting about them after the first week, so the whole thing starts feeling cliche.

So then you start looking for other occasions to use for their supposed "new beginning" properties. Or trying to figure out other ways to make your comeback. Or, at the very least, stress some more about how to explain why you've been away for so long, and worry about whether or not you will be welcomed back.

And that's where I stood. Until I realized that I'm not the first person to ever face that situation. We're human, and it happens. Things come up, we get busy with life, and things (or people) drift away. And if we let ourselves get deterred by the anxiety of it all, we can end up spending the rest of our lives wishing that we could go back and simply take that first step toward reconnecting.

First steps are scary and sometimes painful, but they are a necessary evil. And we would never get anywhere without them. So if I could be so bold as to offer a bit of advice... Don't wait for a special occasion when it feels "right" to make a new beginning. Don't get bogged down in the "what if" and the "how do I?" of it all. And don't wake up twenty years from now and realize that you're living with a lifetime of regrets. Just pick a random evening in the middle of the week, take a deep breath, and put yourself out there. If you're anything like me, you'll be very happy that you did.

1 comment:

  1. Very touching and heartfelt. Have been there...thank you so much for sharing.