Monday, September 27, 2010

How I'm Feeling: A Pictorial

Yes, for the most part I still feel like Joan Cusack in Sixteen Candles. But I've realized that there are some other good illustrations for how I've been feeling since the surgery.

For the most part, I've mainly been doing a lot of this. Recovery is exhausting, so I sleep a lot. And sleeping in a half-sitting position, propped up on way too many pillows, unable to move because of the awesome collar I still have to wear... yeah, it's probably about as comfortable as if I were sleeping on top of a dog house.
Spending most of my time in bed, unable to move much, has made for some really stiff muscles. (The past couple of nights I've actually been woken up by involuntary muscle stretching. I didn't even know that was a thing, but apparently it is. My arms and legs just start stretching, and of course that hurts, so the pain wakes me up.) And I'm so stiff that every time I wake up, I want to say "Oil can!"

Can you blame me?

Yes, I get grouchy every now and then. But I try not to dwell, and usually I get over it fairly quickly.

When I do finally make it out of bed, I find that I feel like something that should be staring in a George Romero movie. I do the bleary-eyed, undead stumble, blindly feeling around for everything I need (partly because my eyes don't want to focus, and partly because I can only see what's right in front of me, thanks to the collar.) It has to be amusing to watch.

And there are times - mostly when I try to eat - that I feel like Doug wearing the Cone of Shame. Not only can I not lick my stitches ;) but I can't really do anything else, either. Like my "zombie shuffle," I'm sure it's amusing to watch. But, like everything else, it does get tiresome. At least I only have to do it for a few more weeks. And who knows? Maybe eventually I will be Alpha too.

I was sitting here yesterday, waiting for my husband to bring me something for lunch. As my mind wondered, I suddenly thought "he's just going to bring me a bucket of fish heads, isn't he?" Thankfully, he didn't - and he wouldn't have even gotten that reference. And yes, I'm living in my upstairs bedroom, not the attic. But I still kind of feel like Bart's evil twin Hugo. And I'm not even sure that I know how to skulk. But maybe I should learn....


  1. It has been so long since I've seen Sixteen Candles that I completely missed the Joan Cusack reference until the wonders of YouTube. Up until that point I kept you felt like a minor character in a comedy? Ignored? Rejected?

    It makes much more sense now.

  2. LOL. You didn't get it from the first picture? Wow, you really need to brush up on your John Hughes. :P

  3. Yes, yes I do. It's been WAY too long. Even the first photo didn't jog my memory. I had to go back and watch the clips.