Friday, July 5, 2013

Sometimes Pain Gets in the Way

I woke up with grand plans yesterday (as I do on most holidays.) Time with family. Games. Treats. Great fun to be had by all. The usual. But unfortunately things don't always go as planned.

Sure, we still had some fun. We took the kids to see Despicable Me 2 (which is a great movie, by the way. Silly, funny, and incredibly entertaining. I highly recommend it.) And of course we took them to see fireworks after that (which is always fun.) And this morning when I asked them if they had a good time yesterday, I got a resounding "Yeah!" from both kids.

But for me, sadly, the day was a bit tainted. It was one of those days that everyone living with chronic pain has from time to time. Yes, we try to "be brave" and "stay strong" and "not let it get to us." And we try desperately to not let it affect our mood, or bother the people around us. Best intentions, and all that.


I tried really hard not to, but I have to admit that by the end of the day I had turned into a bit of a crankypants. I'm not proud of it, but it happens. And so today I move on, with this reminder.


Life is one big learning experience. And sometimes we need multiple reminders along the way. Sometimes we stumble, and sometimes things get us down, but in the end we will be stronger for having gotten through it.

And even though there are times when it is SO tempting to just wallow in the pain, and dwell on the negative feelings that it causes, I have a very important reason to turn it around. My family doesn't deserve the snippy cranky version of me. And even though they're all super-understanding and love me even when I'm at my worst, I'd much rather give them my best.


So it's ok that we didn't get to do everything we had planned yesterday. I can deal with the reality that sometimes pain changes my plans, and I can be happy that at least I still got to spend the day with my family. Because that was the most important thing, anyway.

And I can appreciate the reminder that I might always have to live with the pain, but that I also always have to try to keep it from controlling me. It's much easier said than done, obviously, but still worth the effort.


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